Wednesday, August 14, 2013


Dear God, 

Thank you for giving me this time to pray and talk to you. I really could use it. Well I could always use it. 

Lord, I pray for my father. I pray that you heal him of his hurt heart. I don't know what to do anymore and I'm drowning in this house. My family is supposed to be important and it feels like I'm the punching bag. I can't stand it anymore. Help me figure out what to do in my time of need. 

God, I pray for Reno. I pray that you be with him tonight. I know when he gets stressed, he likes to start his problem so I pray that you just surround yourself in his presence. I also pray that you help him is this new school year. I know he doesn't enjoy this job so I pray that you make it easier in him. 

Lord, I pray for DPH. I pray that you continue to make the business grow into an amazing sound company. Though it's already heading that way. 

In your mighty name, 

Tuesday, August 13, 2013


Dear God,

I that you for everything you've done with my like so far. You've brought me very many blessings and I feel so grateful. 
Lord, I pray for Reno. I pray that you be with him, especially since work starts tomorrow. I pray that you bring less stress on his life and work through him. 

God, I pray for myself. I pray that you heal me of this infection. It seems to be getting worse or the meds aren't working. I also pray that you help me praise you more and being me closer to you. I know I haven't been the greatest but I pray that you work in me and show me your plan. 

In your name

Monday, August 12, 2013


Dear God, 

Thank you for today and giving me a day of happiness. I'm so blessed that you brought Reno in my life. He's an amazing man. 

Lord, I pray for Reno. I pray that you be with him today and have him feel you're presence as well. I know he's struggling with life right now so I know he needs you very much. 

God, I pray for myself. I pray that you help me find a way to coupe with Rachel.  I know I haven't been the best Christian this past summer so please help me grow and lead me into your path. 

In you're mighty name,

Sunday, August 11, 2013


Dear God,

Thank you for being there for me today when I broke down. I know I put on a strong face but you know how much I struggle. I pray that you be with me through out this emotional journey and dealing with Rachel and even brittaney as well a I still struggle with that. 

Lord, I pray for Reno. I pray that you be with him tonight as he struggles with his listful thoughts. 

God, thank you for what you've blessed me with. You've given me an amazing man to help me with my struggles. I pray that you continue to work in us as a couple and help us grow in our relationship with you. We can't do this without you.

In your mighty name,


Dear God,

I really need you right now. I'm on the verge of a mental break down and need in some healing. I also pray that you be with me tomorrow when I face one of my biggest fears. I know I really need to work on that issue and I can't do it without you. 

Lord, I pray for Reno. I pray that you be with him tonight and free him of his lustful ways. I also pray that you take the stress away from him so eh can enjoy what's left of his summer. 

Thank you for everything, 

Saturday, August 10, 2013


Dear God,

Thank you for everything you've blessed me with in my life thus far. I know a lot of it couldn't be done without you. 

Lord, I pray for Reno. I pray that you be with him tonight as he struggles his addition reacting from stress. I know he needs you even if he strays away at times. I also pray that you help him deal with the stress he's going through. 

I pray for myself God. I pray that you help me get through my emotions with people and ex's. I know I can't deal with this on my own. I need you to be with me; help me through it all. 

In your mighty name, 

Thursday, August 8, 2013


Dead God,

I pray for a lot of things tonight. I pray that you be with Reno and help guide him in the direction you have planned for him. I also pray that you be with him tonight and help him with his addiction. 

I pray for myself Lord, that you help me get through this next week being around ex's. I pray that you help me through my issues with that and help Reno understand what I'm going through so he can help me as well. I also pray that you help me decide about this job issue. Inadvertently until tomorrow. 

Thanks of Lord for always being there for me and loving me,


Wednesday, August 7, 2013


Dear God,
 Thank you for everything you've done for me. I feel so blessed. 
Lord, I pray for Reno. I know he has a lot of different emotions going on and some decisions he doesn't like so I pray that you be with him through everything. I also pray that you be with him tonight as he struggles to heal from this addiction. 
I pray for myself, that you'd heal me from this pain and also to guide me on my decision with this job. No matter what, you already have a plan. 

In your name,

Tuesday, August 6, 2013


Dear God,

Thank you for always being there for me even when I don't deserve it sometimes. 

I pray for Reno as he's dealing with lots of emotional stress with Rachel and I pray you help him through it all and show him what to do next. I also pray that you be there for him tonight as he's struggling with certain issues. 

I pray for myself Lord. I pray that you show me which way to go with this job I'm struggling at. I also pray that you heal me from this infection. It's not very fun. 

In you're precious name,

Sunday, August 4, 2013


Dear God,

I thank you for everything that you've done in my life this past year and 8 months. You've truly showed me what it's liked to be saved and loved by your Son. I thank you for that. 

Lord, I pray for Reno and his addiction.  I pray that you be with him and help him through everything that's been going on. I know he needs you now more than ever so I pray that you lead him in the right direction. 

I also pray for myself. I have a lot going on and I pray that you show me where to go from here.  Should I stay at this job or should I go back to the school district? Lead in the right direction and show me your plan. I also pray for my health and that you heal me quicker than normal. I really don't like this infection. 

In you mighty name,

Saturday, August 3, 2013


Dear God,
I don't know what to do. I feel as if I'm not doing anything right and everything feels like its Falling apart. Help guide me in the right direction. 

I pray for Reno. I know he's about to reach his stress limit so I pray that you comfort him and lead him to be the strong man I know he is. I also pray that you be with him tonight. Help him stray away with temptation and free him of his addiction. I know he's struggling to do it on his own. That's why he needs you. 

I pray for myself God. I pray that you heal me from my health issues. I'm really struggling with this H pylori I have going on. I also pray that you be with me tonight and help me be pain free so I can attempt to sleep. 

I'm your night and strong name,

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

It's been a while

It's been a while since I've written anything on here. I guess lots has been happening so I haven't found time to sit and write.
I am currently on my lunch break with this new job I started about a month ago and all I could think about is how to help with everything g that's been going on. 
It may not seem like me but I do try to help everyone I can, even if they've hurt me. I guess I just have a kind heart? I don't know. 
The first person I want to help is Reno. I knows he's been going through a lot this past summer and I'm trying to find way to help him without being too much. I know I have a tendency to be too much and I know it pushes him away :( but I guess I just haven't found that balance yet. I want to be the one he can't live without. I know sounds very cliche and totally not me but I love this man. I don't think everyone realizes it but I do. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man and be there for him through thick and thin. I know our relationship has been kind of rocky. Especially this summer with us being busy and personal issues with others that put a strain on us but I try my hardest to keep us going. I hope he realizes that I do try and that I'm not like his past. I'm his future. 
Wow this has been a small rant that I didn't indent to make but hey. That's why I have this blog. 

Wednesday, June 19, 2013


Dear God,

I pray that you help Reno with this concert series this summer. I know this first one was rough for him and he's overwhelmed with it all. So I pray that you make it easier on him this week and help him deal with his workers if anything were to go bad. 

I know that I left early last week, and I should have stayed :( I pray that when I work the next week, that you help me get trough it and remember that it's reno's business.. Not mine. 
In Jesus name, 

Wednesday, June 12, 2013


Dear God,
I am really struggling lately with a number of issues. I am very hurt and very stressed and I don't want to be. Lord please heal me from my hurt I'm carrying.  Please help me get through everything! 

Lord, I pray for Reno and I. We're really struggling to get through this Rachel issue so please give us strength to get through this as couples and as individuals. I know this is very stressful for Reno so please Lord take away the stress from him. 

God, I pray for this summer, that you help everyone working the concert series and get through it without stress and just enjoy our time with each other. I also pray for reno's business. Lord please grow DPH sound and make it as Reno wants it. He treats his company as his child so please help it grow and stay strong. 

God, once again please heal me from the hurt I feel. Help me be strong in you and in my life. I pray that you help me be Christ like toward others who aren't showing the same to me.ams if there's any where I can grow in, please help me through it. This is really heavy on my heart and I pray that you take it all away and help me focus on Reno and work and just enjoyment in life. 
In your mighty name, 

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Random thought

 So do you think a year and half is a good time to talk about marriage? This has been on my mind for a while now. I know I have a hard time bringing it up to Reno, and it probably adds more pressure on him which sucks :( I mean shouldn't we be able to at least talk about it at least? And figure out what to do at a couple to get to that? I tried to talk about it with him yesterday. I don't know if it helped but its really been on my mind. I mean you can't date forever? Or at least I hope you can't. I really feel as if he's so terrified of that commitment that he's just going to date me forever. So how should I bring it up without making him feel pressured? Sigh... I hope he realizes that I'm not going anywhere like everyone else did. Info love him very much and want to spend the rest of my life with him.. I just hope one day he feels the same way. 

Friday, June 7, 2013


  Sigh... Why can't I keep my mouth shut about this whole marriage subject?? I wish I could never talk about it or bring it up, but it's really hard for me. I guess since I'm ready before Reno is that it's easy for me to talk about. But every time I remotely bring it up, I get a very mean look :( 
 Is it wrong for me to want to be married? I know I'm young but I know I'm ready. I just wished he was. But I don't understand how he couldn't be ready? I can understand financially, but it's been a year and half. You can't date forever! Plus the sexual tension is building up and being Christian, you can't have sex before marriage. And even though we've come pretty close, we still haven't yet.
 Ugh I don't know. I feel like I'm the reject girlfriend so he's taking his sweet time with everything :( is that a bad way to think? I just feel that from what he's told me about his previous relationships, that I'm the one who's not good enough to even think about marriage. :( 
 So yeah. That's my little rant for today. 

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

A year and half! Say what????

Our very first picture together!!!
So today is Reno and I's year and half anniversary!! Holy moly! This man has made me so happy since day one. He treats me right and actually loves me back! Who knew?? lol.
Honestly, I've never thought I'd meet a man who i would see myself being with for the rest of my life. Just looking at out first picture together (well first picture being official) makes me very happy, and a tad bit giddy inside!
Reno being silly :)
So what can I say about this man right here... Well for one he's AMAZING! :) He's very weird, makes me laugh regardless, very talented, loves Monty Python, and so much more!
I love the fact that even though he's not a touchy feely person like me, he has his own way of showing how much he cares. He also gives hints about the future even when he doesn't realize it! hehe ;)
He's also changed me in a way I never thought i could change. He makes me a better person, and he also brought me back to Christ.
Even when we have our rough days.. weeks... months... (yes months) we still find a way to love and grow together as a couple and as individuals.  I just know in my heart that this is the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with even if it hasn't crossed his mind yet. I love him so much and care for him just as much and I wouldn't trade him for anything.
Here's some pictures for you to enjoy..
Us being silly!

Oh how I love my roman soldier

Our first new years together :)

Antioch High fundraiser

Nerds by heart!

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Just one of those days.

 Have you ever had one of those days where it goes from bad to worse? Well today was that day. I thought I had plans but ended up alone all day...

 So today is my boyfriend's dad's birthday and I thought I was going to spend the day with his family like I normally do for birthdays so I freed my schedule. Turns out it bit me in the butt. Apparently they went to Alcatraz which is totally awesome, but I missed out. Little did I know that I could have been invited. I know my boyfriend really didn't know it was a group thing but wouldn't you at least ask if your girlfriend, knowing she was already supposed to hang out with the family, could go? I know his brain doesn't think like that.. Sometimes it comes in handy, but it really sucked today...

 I know I shouldn't be bummed out but for some reason I am. I don't know, it makes me feel as if his family doesn't like me so they didn't bother letting my boyfriend know that it was a group trip. Maybe they really just didn't want to be around me.. Heck, I really don't want to be around me, but I don't have a choice. I don't know. I'm just really bummed out and a tad disappointed. Again I know I shouldn't be, but I am.. :( 

Friday, May 31, 2013


Dear God,

I know it's been a while since I've talked you. I should be better at this but to be honest I'm really not! Praying is probably the one thing I suck at. Well you probably know this already about me since you know everything lol. 

Anyways God, I pray for Megan this morning. I pray that her surgery goes well and that you keep her safe while she's under. I know she's had surgery before but I still pray that you make everything go well so that alisa doesn't have to worry. 

God I pray for my Furbby and that's he's safe somewhere. He hasn't come home yet and I pray that you bring him back to my family and I. He needs to be home with his family. Plus I already lost one cat, I don't really want to lose another one :(
Anyways God, I pray you give me strength with all that's been going on in my life. I know I have a tendency to forget to work on our relationship. In your precious name, 

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Where do I begin..

 Wow! This past week/s has seriously been extremely tough for me. I feel as If everything is just crumbling into little pieces. I have sooooo many issues to deal with in so little time... 
 I have to deal with something that's been an issue for as long as I've been with my boyfriend (1.5 years!!!) and that's going to be very hard. I've honestly never been this nervous/scared about anything in a very long time. And what sucks on top of that is the fact that I get very little support on this issue. I mean would is kill to have someone take pride in me or back me up or something... :( 
 I've also felt as if I'm doing everything wrong for some reason. Or at least with Reno.. I apparently can't do anything right when it comes to him. I love him so much and wouldn't trade him for anything, but for some reason recently I've had a hard time dealing with his issues and our relationship. I know relationships are hard work and I wouldn't give up on him no matter what but I feel like no matter how I react to him, I get negative feed back.. I know God will get us through this or anything for that matter. Or at least help guide me in my next step. 
 Man I came on here to rant about how to deal with issues in a Christ like manner, and ended up complaining about how I can't do anything correct these days. Sigh.. Oh well. That's why I created this blog! To write what I feel! Take it or leave it. 

Thursday, May 16, 2013

New to this blog idea!

So one day I randomly decided to create a blog. I figured since I always have all these random thoughts, I should have place to put them! I have no intentions of this blog becoming popular or even have an audience. I personally just want a place to put my random thoughts. They may have meaning to others, they may have insight, or they may just be completely random! We'll just wait and find out...